Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sustainable Relationships

It is easy to get so wrapped up in fighting for the causes that matter to us environmentalists that we completely forget to put that same enthusiasm and passion into our relationships. We spend countless hours online catching up on world news, attending lectures and protesting injustices, but all the while the people we care about are being neglected.

Most of us can agree that the only way to sustain a healthy earth is to lessen your impact every day, and the only way to truly do this is to make sustainability a way of life not a chore. And if being sustainable is a way of life, then why don't we apply the same principles to every aspect of our life, including our relationships? Here are some tips on how to keep your relationship sustainable:

1.) Keep An Open Mind: It is easy to be open-minded to new ideas or products, but we tend to shut people out who aren't like us or don't match our crazy ideals. I recently started dating someone who is much much younger than me, which is not normal at all for me. I normally have an age cap that I strictly adhere to because I believed it was keeping me from wasting my time on a relationship doomed to failure. The truth is, I have had countless numbers of failed relationships with people closer to my age, and every single one of those relationships ended because of who we are as people, not how old we were. Once I came to this realization I was able to shrug off our age difference and give this younger guy the same chance I would give any guy, and believe me it has paid off. I am finally being treated like the goddess I am, and living entirely in the present.
2.) Nourish Your Relationship: The biggest mistake you can make in a relationship is to think that you don't have to work at it. Imagine if you just stopped recycling and composting and just let all that junk pile up, your life and the environment would suffer for it. It is the same with your relationship. You have to spend as much time on your relationship letting it grow and thrive as you would on your garden. Weed out any issues, nourish each other with kind words and constant support, and make sure to do small things for each other every day. One of my favorite relationships I have ever been in was one where we had Friday night themed movie/dinner night. We would choose a theme, like 80's movies, and we would dress-up, cook dinner together and watch a movie all based off of that theme. It was the most fun I have ever had with someone.
3.) Maintain A Strong Base: So many of us environmentalists will fight tooth and nail for a cause, but when it comes to a relationship we sometimes take the easy way out. It can be hard to remember why the two of you fell in love in the first place when your relationship is lacking in emotional and physical intimacy. It is important during these times to recall the strong base and connection that you have, and not let your issues weigh you down so much that all you want to do is escape the situation, whether it is good in the long run or not. Your relationship should be the biggest cause in your life worth fighting for, but somewhere along the way it becomes the easiest thing to leave. We try and rationalize that it is just "not meant to be," as if it is just as easy to find that base and connection with someone else, but this kind of mentality is not that of a true environmentalist and is not practicing the true definition of a sustainable relationship.

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